This tacky monstrosity can't belong to Obama, can it?

By CARISSA DIMARGO

Maybe this is just wild conjecture here -- and we all know how much everyone loves opinions in Serious Journalism -- but isn't Barack Obama's birthday cake hideously ugly? This is not at all in line with Obama's sleek, skinny-tie persona, and frankly, we're shocked.

It looks like the Cake Boss's disgruntled ex karate-chopped the frosting bag.

Decorated with the presidential seal, the layer cake was accompanied by various pies, including pecan, huckleberry, Key lime and coconut cream, plus a cheesecake.

How'd this happen? Michelle wears $540 Lanvin sneakers to plant organic veggies in the White House garden. The girls switch outfits aboard Air Force One to arrive in Paris in crisp khaki trench coats.

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